Is Your Relationship Healthy? Here's A Checklist to Help You Know for Sure:

Healthy Relationship Checklist | Uncommon Love Sex-Positive Couples Counseling in Portland

One of the most common questions I get asked is if I think a relationship is healthy.  This is such an important question to ask, and there aren't any really clear answers, but there are a few guideposts that can help you identify unhealthy patterns worth working on.

Here are some of the guidelines I recommend to know if you are in a healthy place together.  If you are in an unhealthy spot,  or you just need a little tune-up give me a call for a free consult and let's see if I can help you make changes today.

Characteristics of a healthy relationship

  • You can talk openly with others outside the relationship

  • You have shared and individual friends

  • You hold each other to the same high standards

  • You encourage each other’s independent goals

  • You have a shared idea of where you will go in the future

  • You support each other's health and grow one another's confidence

  • You enjoy and celebrate each other’s successes

  • Your boundaries are respected by your partner

  • You enjoy spending time apart and respect each other’s need for space

  • You share a sense of positive regard, warmth, respect, and kindness with your partner

  • You have special jokes, rituals, dates, events you share regularly

  • You feel physically and emotionally safe in each other’s presence

  • You can be honest, an trust you are hearing the truth from your partner

  • You value your differences and respectfully disagree

None of the items on this list mean your relationship is doomed.  Instead they could mean your relationship's health requires attention.  You might need help making changes together.  

Call a professional for a consult or referral near you.  You can be even stronger together and you can learn healthy relationship patterns.

If you think your relationship might be unsafe please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).