Ten Reasons to See a Couples Counselor

Ten Reasons to See a Couples Counselor | Uncommon Love Poly Counseling in Portland

Couples counseling helps couples reflect and take intentional action to create relationships filled with happiness, connection, and shared vision.  

There are many reasons couples decide to start working with me.  Here are ten of the most common.

Why See a Couples Counselor?

1.  Sweethearts considering marriage.

Pre-marital counseling and coaching is some of my favorite work.  You know you want to be together, now, the question is, HOW do you want to be together?  What kind of future do you want to build?  How will you navigate life changes with grace?  

Working with a couples therapist can help you get clear about the life you want to build as a committed couple.  While most therapists are trained as marriage therapists specific to monogamous more traditional couples.  Those of us who use couples therapist or relationship coach as a title are acknowledging marriage isn't the only kind of couple we see.

2.  Keeping the relationship fulfilling long term.  

You have probably heard me say it already, every relationship needs a tune up from time to time.  Keeping your relationship a priority amid the many responsibilities and obligations that come up can be difficult.  It's not uncommon to lose a little luster over time.  

Couples coaching can help provide time to re-assess how to sustainably keep the fire burning for a long long time.

3.  Getting back together after taking a break.

Little known fact: LOTS of couples break up and get back together.  When you are deciding to return to partnership it can be really helpful to work with a couples coach to both repair any gaps from your break, and work on forgiveness.  

You get to define what your relationship looks like- and no one combination works for every couple.  Your therapist will also help you determine how you want to move forward together and can help you tailor your agreements and communication skills to the relationship best suited for both of you.

4.  Thinking about becoming parents.

Parenting is an amazing journey, but it isn't for everyone and co-parenting doesn't come naturally.  Who do you want to be as a parent?  Is parenting something you both really want?  

When you and your partner are ready to start thinking about a family it can be a good idea to bring in a counselor as a facilitator to help guide you through the decision-making and planning processes.

5.  Starting a business with your life partner.  

So we know you and your partner have great ideas and can manage projects together well (that home remodel looks beautiful!) but are you ready to start a business together?  And if you are, how will you maintain your relationship strength as your business dreams come true?  

Contacting a couples counselor to help you as a consultant for your business partnership when it's also our romance partner.  This is especially important for non-monogamous couples, and polyamorous groups who want to share financial commitments to one another beyond the mainstream marital rights afforded legally married couples.

6.  Opening your relationship to non-monogamy.

Polyamory and open relationships are much more common than people think.  However, because we have strong cultural taboos around talking about open relationships, most couples are without support as they begin conversations about openness.  

Without support many couples struggle with unexpected triggers.  Working with a poly-affirming provider can help you get through those challenges with greater ease. 

Find an open-minded affirming provider using one of these lists.  You can find me there too!

7.  Adventuring in new sexual or sensual territory.

Dan Savage coined the phrase GGG meaning one should strive to be good in bed, giving "equal time and equal pleasure" to one's partner, and game "for anything—within reason."for things sexually and sensually.  For some people meeting this GGG standard is not easily done.  

Working with a relationship coach or couples counselor could help you and your partner explore new sensual connections and be even stronger together in the bedroom (and wherever else these adventures take you).  

Check these lists for a sex-positive (non-judgmental) provider near you.

8.  Repairing a relationship after an affair.  

An affair doesn't necessarily mean you have to end your relationship.  Many couples decide to stay together.  However, repairing from a violation of trust can require professional support.

Even open relationships have affairs- and having a therapist who understands the unique challenges non-monogamous folks face when repairing trust is critical to moving through the healing process.

Contact a relationship counselor or couples coach to help you rebuild connection and trust and decide if staying together is the best option for you.

9.  Re-imagining the relationship after things go blah.

Let's face it, relationships take work and it is not easy to razzle-dazzle your partner every day (nor is it a realistic expectation).  Work with a relationship coach or couples therapist to help reignite that spark and fascination that brought you together in the first place.

10.  Deciding to move in together.

Many people struggle with questions of balanceprivacy, space, and independence during these conversations.  It can be very helpful to have a neutral party's support and guidance as you transition to or from living together.

The bottom line is, if you are going to stay together for a long time, you are going to weather many changes to your life and relationship. Having knowledgeable professional support can very much help you move through growth more compassionately together.

Relationship counseling is like a vitamin boost for your relationship's health during times of stress and transition.  Give me a call for a free consultation to see if I can help you be stronger together.

*I closed my psychotherapy and couples counseling practice in 2016 to pursue coaching and consulting.  Contact me to learn more about this powerful change in my work.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).