open relationship books

Essential Reading for Ethical Non-Monogamy

open relationship counseling | open marriage counselor

Most people never even hear the word non-monogamy until they're starting a conversation with a partner about doing it.  

Needless to say it sounds foreign, and without relationship role models to look to, it can be really overwhelming to try re-envisioning your relationship in a more open way.  

Getting good information is essential to making intentional choices- but where should you look first?  Here are the three books I recommend most often to clients considering non-monogamy. 

The Ethical Slut, by Janey Hardy and Dossie Easton

This book is a great primer on how to do intentional consensual relationships in general.  I think it lays a solid foundation for the conversations you're going to have with any future partners (monogamous or not).  If you're asking "how do I know if this is right for me?" this book is one step in the right direction.

Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino interviewed hundreds of non-monogamous couples (and triads and more) to collect incredible examples of how people make it work across the spectrum of non-monogamy.  I love that this book walks you through many possibilities and brings up common concerns for each of the most common types of ethical non-monogamy folks practice. 

If you're having trouble envisioning a life without monogamy, this book will help you dream up possibilities.

More Than Two, by Franklin Veaux

I've gotten mixed feedback from clients on this one. but for those of you thinking polyamory (many loves or romantic connections) is a possibility for you, More Than Two walks you through the kind of issues that arise when heart-centered connections get more complex with more partners.  Yes, it's a little heavy, but if you're considering poly, it's arguably the best out there. 

If you have reading suggestions I'd love to hear them.  Leave a comment with your recommendation on my facebook page so I can take a look. 

And if you want help sorting through what you read in these give me a call, I'm here to help you!

open relationship counselor | open marriage counselor 

Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

  • reconnect with passion & desire in long-term partnerships
  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 
  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts
  • resolve sexual dysfunction & disconnection
  • change communication & codependent patterns
  • open your relationship & practice polyamory with integrity

I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online (and in Portland, OR).

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Recommended Books on Open Relationships

Lots of couples want to explore non-monogamy, but aren't sure where to start.  Either they don't have friends who are open about their non-traditional relationship status, or they don't know where to find community, or there aren't a lot of local resources to rely on.  

If you're deciding to try non-monogamy having a few great resources on hand can really help you stay connected and communicate effectively through the process.  Having a few books on the subject can really help both you and your partner establish a baseline of awareness, understand potential pitfalls, create expectations and boundaries, and navigate mistakes.  

Watch the video below to hear about a couple of my favorite books on open relationships to help you decide what will work for both of you.  I would love to hear your recommendations in the comment so I can add resources to the list!

Best Books on Open Relationships

Check out more great book recommendations on healthy relationships.

What are your recommendations?  Leave a note below and let me know!


Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a polyamory consultant, sex educator and relationship coach specializing in polyamory, open relationshipsjealousy, LGBTQ issues and infidelity.  

She can help you:

Contact her for a free consultation to see if working with her is right for you.

Click here to download her free guides to strengthen your relationship (monogamous or not).